There’s something peculiar about being the person who sees things as they are in a world where many prefer comfortable illusions. I’ve spent years watching people construct elaborate fantasies around themselves, building walls of denial so thick they can barely hear the truth knocking.
The first time I heard of denialism was when I was doing research to bring to my therapist. I desperately wanted to understand what I was going through. It felt like I was in The Truman Show or The Twilight Zone – nearly everyone around me seemed totally comfortable ignoring reality and simply pretending things didn’t exist. It was the weirdest phenomenon. While I had seen this sort of behavior growing up and in the years leading up to me leaving the US, I had never encountered it on this level. It felt like I was living in a dome bubble, stuck in a time loop with no way out.
Understanding the Depths of Denial
Learning about denialism gave me power. It gave me the knowledge to express what I was going through and helped me understand why I experienced so much friction as someone committed to focusing on reality and facts. I’m a strong believer that when you acknowledge your problems, you can work through them and resolve them, rather than ignoring them and pretending they don’t exist.
The more I researched, the more I understood that denialism goes far beyond simple denial. While denial might be as basic as refusing to believe someone’s truth or avoiding our own weaknesses, denialism is something far more pervasive and powerful. It’s like denial on steroids – a collective agreement to not just ignore reality, but to actively construct an alternative one.
Living in the Bubble: The European Experience
This became painfully clear when I lived in Europe, where I found myself in an environment that mirrored my childhood experiences. People walked around with invisible zippers on their mouths, blindfolds over their eyes, and earplugs in their ears when it came to addressing real issues. Everyone got by in life by just pretending problems didn’t exist. Issues weren’t to be discussed. It felt like being an eighth-grade teacher stuck in a room full of kindergartners, constantly having to adjust my approach to match their bubble of denial.
Growing up in this kind of environment, I watched as people turned blind eyes to serious problems. Everyone would just wake up the next day and completely pretend nothing had happened. They had a warped sense of reality, living in delusion rather than truth.
The Cost of Collective Denial
What fascinates me about this behavior is how people think avoiding reality somehow makes problems disappear. But I’ve seen firsthand how unaddressed issues fester beneath the surface. That suppressed anger doesn’t vanish – it grows silently until it erupts in unexpected outbursts.
As someone who hates conflict but believes in addressing issues immediately, I find it extremely difficult when surrounded by people who would rather pretend problems don’t exist. When you bring up reality to them, they respond with immediate anger and outbursts because they can’t believe you’re confronting them with truth.
Patterns in Denial-Prone Environments
What’s particularly interesting is how these denial-prone environments share common characteristics. The people within them often get stuck in time loops, repeatedly telling the same life stories over and over. They find one place in time that was their “happy place” and get stuck there instead of living in the current reality. They’re often anti-intellectual, shying away from deep thinking or meaningful discussions. They create and maintain their fantasy worlds with such conviction that challenging their perception feels like a personal attack.
Finding My Path Forward
Looking ahead to 2025 and beyond, I’ve realized the importance of surrounding myself with people who share a realist mindset. When I encounter someone who chooses delusion over reality as their primary coping mechanism, I need to step back. I’ve dealt with this dynamic for too long, and it’s time to take a stand. I’ve spent too many years navigating environments where people pride themselves on being inauthentic “just to keep the peace,” where they’d rather tell multiple lies than face one uncomfortable truth.
While I understand how being slightly delusional might help someone through temporary hardships, it becomes problematic when it’s a permanent state of being. I can see how in times when everything’s going horribly wrong, you might need to psych yourself up with positivity. But it goes too far when denying reality becomes part of your personality.
As someone who values intellectual discourse and authentic connections, I’ve learned that I can’t compromise my commitment to reality just to make others comfortable in their denial. This realization isn’t about judgment – it’s about understanding where I fit in a world where many prefer comfortable lies over uncomfortable truths.
How do you navigate spaces where reality seems optional? I’d love to hear your experiences in finding this balance between realism and the collective denialism that surrounds us.