Have you ever noticed how “I love you” can be one of the most powerful phrases someone says to you—but only if it’s backed by action? Without action, those three words lose their meaning. They become empty, a hollow promise that doesn’t hold up in real life.

The thing is, love isn’t something you say to make it true. It’s something you show through consistent actions. It’s in the way you treat someone, how you prioritize them, and the care you give when they need it most. The words should be a reflection of the love that’s already there—not a placeholder for something you’re not actually doing.

I was talking with a friend recently about this, and we got deep into discussing parent-child relationships. We were talking about how sometimes parents might say they love their kids, but it seems more like a moral obligation because their actions don’t show love. For example, if a parent actively makes a plethora of bad decisions in their life that keeps them away from their child or doesn’t allow them to properly take care of their child, then is that really love?

It’s actually quite selfish when you procreate and then don’t make life choices that allow you to properly care for the life you created. It’s not enough to simply say “I love my child” over and over. If you make actions that negatively affect your child in a way where you never get to see them or can’t take care of them, that’s not love to me—that’s selfishness. That’s you caring about yourself first, not prioritizing your kid first, and that in itself is not love.

This idea extends beyond just parenting though. Saying “I love you” doesn’t make the love real—it’s what you do that counts. Do you show up for the person? Do you prioritize their needs? Are your actions building them up or tearing them down? Love that isn’t demonstrated through consistent care and effort becomes hollow over time.

When someone says “I love you” but their behavior actively harms or neglects you, it creates a disconnect. Love without action isn’t love at all—it’s just words. The same applies in reverse. If you find yourself saying “I love you” to someone, but your actions don’t support those words, ask yourself if your love is truly being expressed.

The best expressions of love don’t need to be announced because they’re already felt. Words can be beautiful, but they should never be the starting point. They’re the confirmation of what’s already being shown through your behavior, your care, and your commitment.

So the next time someone says “I love you,” or the next time you say it, ask yourself: do the actions align with the words? Because love isn’t just something you hear—it’s something you experience. And in its truest form, it’s something you show through consistent action and care.