The first time I ever experienced betrayal was at one of my first office IT jobs. I had a coworker, and we'd had two meetings together to create an action plan. About 30 minutes before our final meeting, I confirmed with them: "Hey, I just want to make sure we're on the same page. You know, we both feel the same way about this. This is how we're going to present it to XYZ person." They assured me, "Yeah, of course. We've gone over this twice now. You can trust me."
Then, an hour later in that meeting, they did the complete opposite of what we'd prepared. They threw me under the bus, claiming I wasn't competent to do the work - the same thing I'd heard them say about everyone else who'd done the job before. This was particularly shocking because two days prior, they'd praised my technical experience and abilities. We had made plans to split the work and move forward together. I'd never been so blindsided in my life. I didn't even realize people actually did things like this; I thought it only happened on TV and in movies.
This memory resurfaced this weekend when I experienced something similarly painful with people in my life. These people have a history of abuse, but what others don't realize is that abuse comes in many forms. I very recently discovered someone who appeared to be my advocate, who seemed to care for and love me, was secretly feeding false information about me to someone who hates me. They were sharing half-truths and complete lies, not knowing I had documentation that would dispel all their false narratives.
I can't fathom how someone could look me in the face, and pretend to be loving and caring while fueling such hateful actions behind my back. I'm not even upset about the outcome of what happened - I'm heartbroken that I gave trust simply because we share blood and I believe everyone deserves a 2nd chance because I believe people can change. It's a stark reminder of why I went no contact years ago, and why I must do it again to protect my mental health and ensure I can thrive.
This weekend reminded me that betrayal can come from your own blood. We hear about this throughout history, but I wanted to believe it wouldn't happen to me. I fought so hard to believe intentions were always good. It reminds me of biblical betrayals - like Judas denying his actions. When someone gaslights you into believing you're in a safe space while secretly spreading hatred, that's abuse.
I'm experiencing genuine heartbreak today. I know many others are stuck in similar situations because of the economy. I hope we can all eventually pull ourselves out of these abusive situations and find some peace and happiness.
